Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
