Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
