69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Randomize
