You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
