My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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