she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
