how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
