that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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