btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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