well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
