I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize