i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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