halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
