I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize