is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
that may or may not have been my penis.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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