i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
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I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
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ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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