you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
