tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
