I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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