hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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