I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
