god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
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He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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