Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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