8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
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