Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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