She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
