so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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