She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
