New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
