just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
the liver wants what the liver wants
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
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