I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
