clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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