just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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