I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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