thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
