Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
