Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Randomize
