my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
