I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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