was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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