youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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