I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
