i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
