Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
