you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
