went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
