Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
