Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
