i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Holy shit dude........stairs
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
