I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
