Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
