Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
We left the knife in your bed.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
