Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
