The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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