I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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