it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize